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Unpleasant Freshman Memories

Around 3 a.m. on one of the first Saturday nights of freshman year, I was sitting with a bunch of friends at the Korner Diner, dipping a steaming fry into ketchup. That is until I got an urgent call from a friend I had met a week ago. She had insisted on staying at the house party we had just been to. Unaware of the extent of alcohol she had drank, we let her stay.

She was frantically crying on the phone, telling me to leave the diner and come back to the dorms ASAP. I didn’t understand why she could be so upset. We had just ordered and the diner is a 15 minute walk away, meaning at night it would be idiotic to walk alone. For her to make such a demand of me meant that whatever was bothering her had to be important.

Before I left I wanted to know why she wanted me to leave so I asked her.  She refused to answer.  All I could hear was her sobbing loudly through the other end of the phone. Finally I told her I couldn’t leave unless I knew why I was leaving, and the next thing I know she confessed she had given oral sex to a complete stranger. She shouted it over the line in a completely distraught and humiliated tone and I immediately regretted having asked her.

After she yelled it out the other end of the line fell silent. I froze, not knowing how to comfort someone who felt so used and shattered. My friend, although I had only known her for a few weeks, was not the type of girl to go and hook-up with a stranger. She hadn’t gone past kissing guys in highschool, and the fact that she went the farthest she ever had with a complete stranger was shocking and scary.

I left the diner and consoled her. I remember telling her that she was still a good person and bad things often happen to good people. He hadn’t even asked for her number and she didn’t remember how to pronounce his name.

So why did this seemingly nice girl feel the need to go down on a complete stranger? Alcohol may have been involved, but in all honesty I think it was more than just liquid courage.

Freshmen girls come to college seeking acceptance from guys. Sometimes the only way to feel that acceptance is giving something away sexually. Freshmen guys come seeking the same, but that could be achieved by winning in other contests, like booze and sports. Not to say that they don’t compete when it comes to women, but I’ve found more girls use sex as a self-esteem boost than guys do.

Sometimes unfortunate things happen to people with the best of intentions, but it’s just important to be aware that alcohol makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do. Regretting a sexual experience is not something fun to live with, especially if it’s your first time.

It happens so frequently and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s too easy to catch an STD, and it’s awful to feel used and worthless the next day. It took my friend a while to fully recover and I still think it has ruined most of her relationships after that horrifying experience.

It may be tempting to let loose and go wild, but it’s also important to relax and have fun. Stay true to yourself, do what you want to do, and don’t let anyone pressure you to do something you don’t feel comfortable with. I’ve found that trusting my gut is the most important part of having an experience I won’t regret.