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Real. Strong. Athletic. Revolutionary. Roller Derby.

Rugby meets roller skating in roller derby (but with a sense of fashion).

No longer do we whip it good; in 2009 we just Whip It! The formerly underground sport of roller derby has been on the rise for a decade, and is finding peak popularity due to Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut (opening the first weekend in October). If the idea of combining torn thigh-high socks, witty wordplay, and hipster tattoos jolts your brain awake, roller derby is about to fly your kite.

Roller derby was established as a sport in the 1920s (perhaps a repercussion of Prohibition). Initially it was a wheeled sport that both men and women competed in, but in contemporary society, this is a women-only arena. Don’t get thinking this is a soft sport, akin to twirling glittery batons or ice dancing. On the contrary, this sport is not for the lily-livered or those afraid to hit a concrete floor while whisking around on old-timer “quad” roller-skates.

Skate up, ladies.

The details of a “bout” (a roller-derby meet) are lost on me. I have been to multiple bouts and continue to fail to have any knowledge as to how the game is conducted. Perhaps I’m simply in awe of the often burlesque themed uniforms and the brut strength of these petite ladies, or perhaps it is simply that roller-derby is as complicated as Quidditch. According to the Woman’s Flat Track Derby Association, “Roller derby takes place on a circuit track.

It is somewhat unusual among competitive sports in that offense and defense are played simultaneously. The two teams playing send five players each onto the track — three blockers (defense), one pivot (last line of defense) and one jammer (scorer). Helmet covers are used to display the players’ positions: a striped cover is used for pivots, a cover with two stars is used for jammers, and no cover is used for blockers.” And that is just a basic run down of the players.

Regardless, a bout tends to be just as entertaining as a football game and as personal as watching your friends Slip-N-Slide in the residence hall corridor. The players skate under clever aliases such as “The Princess Snide” or “Sugar and Vice” which makes the cheering process sound like people talking in jibberish to each other. Each team also has a catchy name (Break Neck Betties or Axles of Annihilation to name two) coupled with a considerable amount of personality. The teams exist within a delicate balance of provoking each other, cat-fighting, and playing a clean game. (LeGarrette Blount could probably teach them a few tricks.) Injuries are flaunted, and the ladies are more likely to take twelve for the team than just one. Plus, there tend to be half-time shows, shots of whiskey, and live punk bands.

Late night practice sessions make roller derby ideal for college students.

Best of all are the clothes. The players compete in torn 80’s prom dresses, lime green short-shorts over hot pink fishnets, and classic diner-waitress uniforms – anything tight, tiny, and revealing is encouraged as long as a helmet, kneepads and other protective gear are incorporated.

With mottos like “If you can’t play nice, play roller derby” and “Real. Strong. Athletic. Revolutionary,” it’s no wonder roller-derby is a place where players go to win at most any cost and fans go to be in awe of the action. Sure, go see “Whip It!” to get your derby-feet wet. Then head to your local skate rink to see it all live. Or get even more crazy and join yourself. Click here to find a league near you! Most practices take place late at night — perfect for a student schedule!