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Why I Won’t Be Seeing “Amelia” (But Why You Should Love Her!)

My Amelia Earhart spoon necklace and me -- now that's devotion.

It isn’t a novel concept to state that a movie can ruin a perfectly good book – I fail to think of any movie that really could be tested against the written story it was initially based upon. In fact, to pit a book against a movie would be like asking a snow leopard to fight a houseplant. There would be no contest. Take this idea a step further, and it could be stated that a movie can destroy an amazing person and their piece of history. Like Amelia Earhart.

I am an Amelia fan. I have thought she was the greatest thing since sliced bread, more enchanting of a woman than Mary Poppins and the cat’s meow since I was a child. Her story of taking flight when society wasn’t keen on women doing much of anything, of her flying ability, and her fearless ascent on her last flight continue to be intriguing. Plus the fact that her death remains an enigma makes her and her story even more fascinating. I like her so much my friend made me a necklace of a picture of her face in the scoop of a spoon. Seriously.

So then, along come little birds whispering about the making of this movie, Amelia, and darn it if I cannot start to be excited about it – my favorite person who I’ll never have a hope of meeting is about to be spotlighted on the big screen, and I’m going to get to eat popcorn and watch her be amazing. Only as TMZ and Facebook status updates begin to report the details of the movie like the well-trained journalists I know them to be, I find there are two problems and thus I will not be seeing Amelia.

1. The lead actress, Hilary Swank, is notoriously my least favorite actress on the planet. I’d rather see Britney Spears star in a sequel to Crossroads than watch Swank act. Heck, I’d rather watch Spears walk barefoot on any surface, even just freshly vacuumed carpet, than watch Swank do anything – I mean, she was, as a friend put it, the worst thing about ‘The Next Karate Kid.’ And that is saying something. I avoid her movies like they are poisoned pie. I feel awful writing that – I’m sure she’s a very sweet person; I just do not happen to enjoy her depiction of anyone or anything.

2. Reviews of the movie are sincerely awful. There is nothing kind, justifying, or particularly worthwhile being written about Amelia, other than the fact that it is a soppy excuse for a portrayal of an incredible human being (which might be the nicest thing written about the movie). Betsy Sharkey of the LA Times writes, “Where is the steely force that drives grand ambition, the fears, the flaws? Amelia, a disappointing rendering of the remarkable life of Amelia Earhart,” while Justin Chang of Variety says, “To say that Amelia never gets off the ground would be an understatement; it barely makes it out of the hangar.”

With words like these and my adoration of the aviatrix Amelia, even my devotion to the Earhart cause is not enough to allow me to purchase a ten-dollar movie ticket or make room on my Netflix queue for the flick.

Which leaves me with the task of informing people of how to get their Amelia Earhart fix, how to be betwixt by her story, and how to find her at least a little fascinating.

My first suggestion is to hit up the American Public Media podcast of their show The Story entitled Listening for Amelia. An 80 year old woman tells the tale of how she recorded what seems to be the last known radio distress call from Earhart. Next, go to the university library and find East to the Dawn: The Life of Amelia Earhart by Susan Butler – it is my top choice for a literary guide to Amelia. Then read up on Earhart’s history on Wikipedia, which gives a nice overview of her life plus delves into the theories of what happened to her on her last flight, plus see links to Earhart’s own writing for Cosmopolitan magazine. And finally, hit up your favorite means of watching movies and rent Amelia Earhart: The Final Flight staring Diane Keaton as Amelia, and Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian in which Amy Adams does a terrific rendition of the air-bound Earhart.

Though movies are a great way to escape, don’t let them be your only means into the life of intelligent and interesting people; heaven forbid you find yourself disliking someone because of how they are portrayed instead of because of how they actually are.