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Kissing Up: Are You a Teacher’s Pet or Pest?

Giving your teacher an apple used to be considered polite–a form of recognizing the hard work and guidance that teachers give to their pupils. Today, the apple has been dropped and most students would now recognize similar behavior as a form of kissing-up. Though most students seem to know better, there are still those occasional brown-nosers who make it difficult for the rest of the classmates to stomach these actions.

Small holiday presents, long conversations, or even spontaneous office visits could be considered kissing-up, unless these pleasant actions could just be a manner of being polite. It leaves several questions running through my mind when I think of the brown-nosing student.

What is the line for kissing-up and just being friendly? Do the teachers actually fall for this kind of behavior and flattery? Or do the instructors find it as annoying as the rest of the students?

Personally, I always found it strange to witness students giving their teachers end-of-the-year gifts. “Merry Christmas,” they’d say, placing a small wrapped package on the desk. Am I being too judgmental by assuming this kind of student is looking for special recognition? I suppose it is possible that the student has just developed a comfortable relationship with the professor over a semester or two and wants the instructor to know the admiration that has been developed… I guess.

I’m very skeptical of these kinds of relationships between students and teachers. How close is too close? And why doesn’t this kind of behavior make the teachers feel uncomfortable? The instructors could fear being judged by the other students or accused of playing favorites.

I will admit that I may be a little extra critical on this subject. Perhaps it is how this situation makes me feel as a regular student, as opposed to one who kisses up. I worked hard in class, so why should students who flatter the teacher think they can get better grades?

Students who trail after their professors like lost puppies always confused me, as well. In class, those students would be the first to show up and last to leave because they were interested in conversing with the teacher. It is even stranger seeing these same students frequently walking alongside their instructors outside of class. Obviously, there is no rule against this, and most of the studious students have probably had long conversations with their teachers outside of class at some point. But from a spectator’s viewpoint, it just looks weird.

I suppose it would be natural for a teacher to enjoy being admired. One of my art teachers at the junior college always had an entourage of two or more students following her around campus. These students reminded me of body guards or personal assistants. From what I could tell, this art teacher practically depended on these students. They would fetch her lunch or coffee, and would even be treated as secretaries as the teacher would sometimes point me towards one of these students for information about the class: “[So-and-so] can help you with that.”

This kind of attention is bound to boost the ego of some professors. I just can’t help wondering if any of the teachers ever get annoyed with these kiss-ups. So far, I have not met or seen a teacher complain about it, though.