The Turkey Drop: Breaking Up Over the Holiday
November 25, 2009 | Alicia Ostarello
If only mashed potatoes could ease the pain of being dumped.
Perhaps you and your high school sweetheart went to separate colleges, and have been furiously sending late night text messages and long-winded Facebook messages to each other in order to stay connected. Or maybe you experienced your own personal summer of love with a honeybunny from your hometown and returned to campus full of sparkles and sunshine. Well, Thanksgiving week has graced her lovely presence upon us, and with so many students returning home for the long weekend, there is going to be one thing that unites us all here on StudentStuff: The Turkey Drop.
According to the ever eloquent Urban Dictionary, the Turkey Drop is “When a college student breaks up with their long-distance steady on the first holiday vacation back home, usually at Thanksgiving break.” For some reason, college students seem to believe in decency when it comes to break-ups, and this decency manifests itself as the need to break-up in person. Naturally, long distance relationships take place out of person, so sometimes the only available time to see each other is over holidays like Thanksgiving. And sometimes, change is a-brewing.
College is a really great place to not only get to know yourself, but to re-invent yourself. When you go away to a university, you are given the chance to explore who you really are, versus who all your high school friends and your family thought you were. Unfortunately, when you are dating someone long-distance, this causes a struggle between being who you were, becoming who you are, and balancing making new friends, being exposed to new people, and having a life in the real world versus via telephone conversations, Skype, and the internet. When the pressure builds up, and when you find yourself being distracted from your schmoopy, sometimes breaking-up is the best choice for you.
Having survived more than one Turkey Drop from both ends of the dropping spectrum, I’m going to offer a few suggestions to both parties, as it’s not fun to be dropped, and it’s not fun to drop someone, either.
If you are the dropper (the person activating the break-up), keep a few things in mind: plan what you are going to say, when this is going to take place, and how long you are willing to spend discussing the break up – having a plan means the news won’t just fall out of your mouth on accident, and sticking to a designated time that you are comfortable with means you won’t be spending all night freaking someone else out and freaking yourself out. Also, be patient – the news might be surprising. Finally, do not wait until the last possible minute. Breaking up with someone right before they head to the airport or have to drive a few hours away makes the travel process pretty traumatic.
Oh, and please don’t break up with someone in the parking lot of a grocery store they went to as a kid. Just saying. It sort of ruins the hometown shopping experience for awhile.
If you are the dropee (the person who is being broken up with), here are my recommendations to you: Take many deep breaths, and attempt to be clear-headed about the situation (if you succeed in this, please advise me on how to do it!). Utilize being at home to garner support from friends and family. Do not attempt to delay returning to school until you feel better –don’t let this action deter you from getting your education. Finally, let your mom or dad take you pity-shopping on Black Friday if they want to – it really won’t make you feel better instantly, but later the sweater or digital camera they bought you will be really nice to have.
Oh, and please don’t drive by their house four times in two hours the next day. It’s really creepy. I know you’re upset – just call them or send them an email; if they were someone worth your pain, they’ll understand.
There is really no good that can be said about the Turkey Drop other than it has an adorable name. But perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that there are students all over the country experiencing this same phenomenon and plenty of them attend your own school, so there is sure to be someone near you with whom you can commiserate and take long walks with. And talk to your college’s office of student life – some schools offer seminars in the aftermath of the Turkey Drop.
