Teachers Who Flirt With Students
November 27, 2009 | ama83
In high school, the student – teacher age difference is so wide that it is almost unheard of for a teacher to flirt with students since that would be lines for a lawsuit. However, when you reach college students are older and, more importantly, no longer considered minors. This opens the door for certain teachers who have few scruples against dating one of their students.
How awkward is it when you realize your teacher is not just conversing about school, but is actually coming on to you? As for myself, I am completely turned off by the whole thing. Since I have always looked upon my professors with a form of respect and admiration (much like I would look at my father!) the idea of an instructor hitting on me has always made me uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, I have found myself in this position a couple of times through my college years. When a teacher occasionally calls me “pretty” or “beautiful” it could be considered an innocent compliment. However, when my professor begins to give these compliments on a regular basis and even goes so far as to point out that my shirt is “erotically appealing,” I begin to feel uncomfortable. Constantly referring to his unhappy marriage was another indicator that his opinion of me was not completely friendly.
Since this teacher’s intentions were never said outright, I just learned to keep my distance from this instructor. Otherwise, I would have told him I was uncomfortable, or even reported him if he did not care about my awkward feelings.
In other circumstances, some students do not mind the flirtation and will actually encourage it. I had a friend who said her teacher was always giving her compliments, and that he eventually asked her out for a drink, which she happily accepted. If a student is over age and equally interested in the teacher, then there is little harm, except for the possibility of playing favorites with students. If a student and teacher really are interested in one another, I believe it is only okay to proceed with the interest after the shared class is over with.
Not all of teachers’ compliments or remarks are welcome, though. Some teachers’ words could actually be translated into harassment. I was told that there was one teacher – a lesbian – who actually warned her female students that if they wore low-cut tops to class, she was definitely going to stare down their blouses. Personally, I think comments like that from a teacher – man or woman – are grounds for reporting to the head of the department or even the dean.
Obviously, these situations come in all forms and how a student should respond depends on whether the teacher’s interests are returned. If you are uncomfortable with a teacher’s actions, let the instructor know how you feel or report the problem in more extreme cases.
And if you want to reciprocate these feelings with a professor, take proper caution before proceeding: be sure it is not against school policy; and, do not engage in any kind of relationship while the teacher is still acting as your teacher for a class.
I have only heard about this in school, but never seen it. However, I have seen this at the workplace too many times. It is something to be concerned about. But like you said, take precaution if you plan on reciprocating!
I would be uncomfortable with a teacher flirting, but if it got me a good grade, I’d go along with it.
I knew a girl who had a multi-year relationship with her married astrophysics professor. But that story was definitely an anomaly. I’ve never seen or experienced anything inappropriate personally. Most comments from professors should be taken with a sense of humour though, and I think most are fairly innocent.