Sometimes the Ideal Pet is the Inanimate Kind
February 9, 2010 | Alicia Ostarello
As mentioned previously on Student Stuff, the dorms are not entirely welcoming of pets. And although there are some limited pet options for college-living situations, I’m a pretty big fan of the inanimate companion – they are easy to care for, make ways less noise than your electric toothbrush, and fit seamlessly into your university life.
If geology is your cup to granite and you think being responsible is for the birds, you might consider adopting a pet rock as a household friend. There are more looks to a pet rock than Pink goes through in a year; with the right amount of attention, you can find a sparkly rock, a striped one, one of unusual size or shape, or whatever kind of stone you can imagine. Pet rocks are also incredibly simple to care for; they’re happy in any sort of enclosure (I like the idea of keeping one in a bird cage), or hanging out on top of your desk to get maximum exposure to your daily life. Make sure you remember that your pet rock is always on a diet, so feeding them is never an issue: just don’t do it.
Another inanimate pet that is a bushel of fun is a Chia Pet. These little critters are a potted type of plant in the shape of various animals, famous and infamous people and animated characters. Think of them as Beanie Babies that grow bean sprouts instead of fur. Keeping your Chia happy is simpler than making Ramen. Roll seeds over the Chia, water occasionally, and enjoy.
There are also plenty of plants that don’t need much light, pruning, or water that you can keep chipper in your dorm room. An orchid is a bit finicky, but will remain in bloom for an entire moon cycle. Or any succulent (ex. a cactus) only needs water once a week – which means once every week and a half or two weeks in student land – and they stay sprightly. And often succulents come in pairs, so your new buddy always has a pal.
Finally, there’s my favorite inanimate pet: the hamster peppers. Go to your local farmer’s market or grocery store and pick up two mini bell peppers. They have nice long stems that look like tails, and it’s easy to imagine they are gerbils or dwarf hamsters instead of produce. Keep them in a plastic hamster cage from your youth, or a hamster ball isn’t an over indulgence for a student and will keep your pepper hamsters safe from being stepped on.
No matter what kind of inanimate pet you choose, make sure you always give your friend attention – pop in and have a chat with the pipsqueak, name them and call them by name, and make sure your companion is comfortable and happy. You can tell if your pet rock, Chia Pet, houseplant, or pepper hamsters aren’t feeling lively; imagine when you aren’t feeling completely comfy and how un-fun that is. This should motivate you to help the lil’ guys, even if you’re busy studying or playing Wii Fit!
