The Girl’s Guide to College Dating
February 10, 2010 | Lauren Van Mullem
My mother always told me that she majored in Men in college. And despite my degree in English, I might say the same for myself. While studying the classics of British Literature, I was also studying the college dating scene. What I learned could help you get a date.
As a tall, somewhat intimidating girl in high school, I didn’t date much. Ok, I didn’t date at all. The young men at my high school tended to like petite girls who didn’t try to intellectually skewer them for sport in conversations (I can now see their point). But literally the first week of attending UCLA, I was walked to my dorm room door by a towering gentleman of 6’2” who thought I was interesting. And in a university of around 2500 undergraduates, he was not the only one. But meeting men isn’t always easy, even when there are so many in proximity. Here are a few tips on how to find the guys you want (finding guys you don’t want has never seemed to be a problem), and meet new friends in the process.
The College Forums
Many schools have informal online student forums where students can post tips, questions, advice, and conversation topics. Forums like these can be enormously helpful for a new student learning to navigate campus life and trying to find like-minded people with whom to share a cup of coffee between classes. In fact, I met my current boyfriend that way. By posting our opinions on threads about politics, social life, and even personal values, I had him pegged as a kindred spirit before we ever met face to face. Then, when we met by chance during an orientation for an on-campus job, I recognized his name in the roll call and introduced myself (after I saw that he was cute). Hey, I go for intelligence first, but looks count too.
On-Campus Jobs
Student jobs aren’t just a good way to make some extra cash; you meet a lot of people that way. I found a job as a writing tutor, which not only provided a decent pay check, but gave me time to study…and flirt with a fellow tutor during downtimes. Not that I advise office romances, because there are a lot of ways that they can turn very ugly. I was lucky this didn’t. But meeting new people is always a good thing and besides they might have cute friends.
Campus Activities
Explore a new hobby. I went to all of the partner dance classes offered at the campus gym, which pretty much guaranteed face time with the opposite sex. And most of the guys were there with a similar purpose; they knew that’s where the women were. You might think that the foxtrot and waltz are for your grandparents, but believe me, they can be very sexy – and the Argentine Tango should be labeled “Highly Flammable.” I met my first boyfriend that way. The downside of this, however, is similar to that of dating someone at work. Breakups can be awkward, and gossip travels as swiftly as feet around the dance floor.
Class Time
Speak up in class. If you want a guy to notice you, first of all, sit next to him. Proximity is important, but you probably figured that out in high school. If you really want to get his attention, raise your hand. Yes, you’re talking to the teacher, but if you are saying something intelligent, you might just get some high marks from your class crush also. If he’s into the subject, start up a conversation after class based on one of his remarks. Don’t be shy!
Where NOT to meet men: Frat parties. Guys who go to Frat parties without dates are there for two reasons: booze and boobs. Freedom from parental supervision is a heady experience, and it might seem oh-so college to casually hook-up with the guy who flirts with you by the economy-sized vodka bottle. But for reasons of health and sanity, restrain yourself. If you do happen to find yourself on the prowl at one of these parties, try chatting up the shy guy sitting on the couch. Men who don’t hit on every girl with a pulse are worth the little extra effort it takes to start a conversation with them. And remember to keep an eye on your drink.
