Should You Rush Out to See “Valentine’s Day?”
February 14, 2010 | Alicia Ostarello
V-Day?
Valentine’s Day has arrived for 2010, and whether this pink and red holiday is your most favorite or least loved day of the year, you might not be able to deny that it looks like the movie Valentine’s Day is going to suit your mood. It’s got make-ups, break-ups, hook-ups, and a shirtless Topher Grace, which all give off the “this movie is gonna shake it up and give you a nice cackle” vibe. And if you get your kicks by watching standard romantic comedies, then you’ll take some enjoyment from this film. Yep, that’s it. Just some enjoyment.
What makes Valentine’s Day fizzle like old soda-pop rather than sizzle like firecrackers isn’t that it’s not witty, cleverly written, and full of real-life ups and downs for each character all against the stunning back drop of southern California – this movie has the makings to earn the description of “charming” and “delightful.” But taking a phenomenal group of performers, whimsical writing of an interwoven plot, and a healthy dose of reality has been done before, so instead of coming across as quirky and different, Valentine’s Day comes across as generic. If you’ve seen Love, Actually or He’s Just Not That Into You, you can imagine what type of dialog and plot twists are going to grace the movie screen.
And trust me, some of the plot points are pulled directly from Love, Actually. Enough so that I considered writing up a drinking game that would include taking a shot every time a turn of events is the same, such as a character running through airport security in order to find a girl, or a business man with kids is cheating on his wife, or a little boy is love sick.
The all star-ensemble cast really is as described; you won’t find a better group of actors truly shining in their roles. Anne Hathaway is full of gumption as an adult phone entertainer/budding writer; Jessica Biel is both polished and plummeting as a never-endingly neurotic PR spokeswoman; and Emma Roberts beautifully confesses to every adult in her life but her parents that she’s planning to have sex for the first time. The only Hollywood elite missing from this show was Seth Rogan coming in and making drug-related Valentine’s references.
However, instead of really gelling into a cohesive supernova like you’d expect a group of brilliant stars would, these thespians instead felt like individual and lonely moons wandering the universe. It was as though the casting agents called in favors (or in Queen Latifah’s case, bribed) to every high-profiled celeb they knew, and everyone agreed before seeing the script or knowing who else would be part of this love-obsessed production.
Of course, there are a few key wonderful movie moments, such as Taylor Swift’s air-headed portrayal of a teenager in love with Taylor Lautner, which made me wish I’d had a star-athlete boyfriend to giggle over and claim to love because he’s good at sports and SO CUTE. And when Carter Jenkins is attempting to figure out how to best greet and woo his girlfriend in her bedroom so they can consummate their relationship for the first time, it’s both horrifyingly hilarious and incredibly endearing. The fact that the most open and healthy relationships are demonstrated by the high school students is a little peculiar, and made me wonder if youth is naive, or if they’re the ones who might actually have a better grasp on love.
I’m not ba-humbugging celebrating love, or even fictitious portrayals of romance and the relationship that special sugar-boogas have, and trust me, I’m a twenty-something gal, which means I adore love-driven movies more than things that sparkle. So even though Ashton Kutcher’s character should have ended his day in a nervous break down instead of a lot of kissing, that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of being enveloped of the fantasy of a comedy. I just think treating the movie-going population as if we’re not going to notice the similar story-lines amongst screenplays and that producers aren’t even attempting to be innovative in their medium demonstrates just how dumb the people in power of any kind think we are.
Here’s my suggestion, whether you be planning to see Valentine’s Day as a gaggle of single gals or for a special date with your peach of a guy or gal – save the money you would have spent on student discounted tickets, fire up Hulu, and watch the V-day inspired episode of 30 Rock, “Anna Howard Shaw Day.” There’s a little bit of actual looney love, authentic quirkiness, and a hog’s belly full of laughs to be had. Unless of course, you plan to make-out during Valentine’s Day, and just want the excuse of being in a movie theater to snuggle with your sweetie!


This review coincides precisely with my prejudgment of the movie. Sometimes you can judge a book by its cover?? Great review!