Home Schoolers Deserve Respect Not Ridicule
February 17, 2010 | ama83
The words quiet, unsocial, shy, gifted, and weird are some of the most common adjectives people attach to students who have been home schooled. This is not to say these descriptions are true; however, these are the preconceptions that many people have about home schooled students.
Because of the inaccurate reputation home schooling (aka independent studies) has received, many people believe there is a stigma attached to the word, and have the habit of stereotyping former home schoolers. I have found that college students, in particular, can be some of the most critical people of home schoolers, which is ironic considering colleges are supposed to be teaching about the acceptance of different individuals.
Home schooling has been given a bad rap because some of the students who initially came out of home schooling behaved in a sheltered manner. They were so deep in their studies at home that they had little to no social life. Though this may be true for some home schooled students, it certainly is not true for all.
Some former home schooled students just resort to avoiding the whole high school conversation because they don’t want to have to explain that their former high school was really in their own home. I know because I used to be one of those students. Even now, after graduation, admitting to being home schooled can be embarrassing because of the way I know people look at me after that statement.
On the upside, some teachers are actually impressed with the abilities of a homeschooler. Having determination, independence, and attention to detail are not always easily found in a classroom full of college students. I remember having a couple of teachers who believed my years in independent studies is what made me one of their most vigilant students. I was one of only a handful of students who would turn in my work on time, and I was often the only student in the class who actually followed instructions to the letter.
Of course, not all teachers were so positive about my home schooling experience. The look of shock I received from some teachers (who learned I was home schooled after knowing me a whole semester) almost always followed with the statement, “I never would have known,” which just goes to show that there was definitely a preconceived notion of how a home schooled student should act.
The negative generalizations people have of home schoolers can be even more unnerving when it comes from a fellow classmate. I can remember having perfectly normal conversations turn uncomfortable when classmates asked about my high school and learned I was home schooled, looking and treating me differently afterwards. One such classmate actually told me that my education explains why I was so quiet in class. He even went so far to tell me that I was wrong to have a strong bond with my family, which would have been directly tied to my home schooling and which would have been my parents’ fault. More was said that I have since tried to forget, but they basically all boiled down to a critique on my past, present, and future.
Needless to say, this was offensive not only to me, but to my family. I will admit that I have always been considered to be the quiet one, but if my home schooled siblings are not considered the same, then that just means shyness is part of my nature. A person does not have to be home schooled to become shy.
In addition, a person does not need to be home schooled to be weird, have close ties to her family, or be studious. I once knew a fellow student who attempted to dress as Shakespeare for every Shakespeare class. And he was not home schooled. I also have been involved with classroom groups where I was the most talkative person in the group. I’m pretty sure my entire group was not made up of former home schoolers.
It is easy for people to generalize about others regarding their ethnicity, the way they dress, how they worship, and apparently how they are educated. I just find it odd that even in an educational atmosphere people can be so narrow-minded on something as trivial as being home schooled.
Does anyone have their own thoughts or experiences on home schooling that they would like to share?
To repost my comments from FB:
HURR HURR DO YOUR PARENTS GIVE YOU THE ANSWERS?!? LOL
Sorry, had to let the immaturity out early – totally kidding by the way.
This is a good article, Amelia – I know some very intelligent and well-adjusted home schooled people. I also know some completely sheltered and maladjusted public school attendees. Can’t use broad brush strokes to paint people!
We home schooled our three children, and one was very angry at having been home schooled. As parents, we made a call we felt was right at the time. The school of choice was not a good one, academically (we looked into it), or where safety was concerned (drugs, gangs, rapes, cops on campus in an elementary school!).
Now, years later (and they are all grown), we do not regret our choice. All three have turned out to become good citizens, and responsible adults.
@Virginia:
As someone who is getting ready to marry/have children (God willing), I’m definitely looking into alternative options for education (private or homeschool) for the same reasons you gave.
One of the most unique, intelligent and confident young women I know was home schooled with her four siblings. She was definitely different in the way she spoke and dressed (I thought she was from Europe for months) but that’s what made her such a fun person to get to know. There is a certain homogenization that happens in schools that home schooled students avoid. I think that’s really cool.
I have experienced both regular schooling and home schooling. Though i did not like homeschooling nor would i ever put my children in it i can fairly say that i have met shy, socially awkward, smart, stupid, outgoing, forward, outcast ,strange, normal, people from either side…schooled or home schooled does not define a who one is…it is just one of many many aspects in the shaping of a person